Each and every one of us loves our children and we
want to give them all that we can. Few things give a parent more joy than
seeing their children’s faces light up on Christmas morning when they see all
of the wonderful surprises that Santa has left for them. These are memories
that we will cherish together for the rest of our lives but did you know that
you can give too much?
I remember when I was little that I was very
fortunate. It seems that I always had everything that I wanted and for me this
was a normal part of life. I didn’t realize that not all of the other children
were as fortunate as I was. I remember one particular Christmas morning I had
opened up what seemed like a thousand gifts from good ole’ Santa and then I
said something that made my parents very angry.
I didn’t mean it the way it sounded but now as a
parent myself I can understand why my parents became so upset. I thought that
in all the confusion there may still have been a gift that I hadn’t noticed and
innocently enough (or so I thought) I said the immortal words, “Is that all?” I can’t begin to describe the look of
disappointment and shock on mom and dad’s faces. I had just finished opening a ton of gifts from Santa and this was
what I said? Yes, I was spoiled.
Why did I decide to write a blog about something so
personal? Well, I thought that maybe now would be a good time to remind ourselves
that maybe, just maybe we are doing
our children a disservice by spoiling them a bit too much.
A recent study done at the University of Missouri suggests that
excessively spoiled children are prone to suffer from credit card debt,
gambling issues and even compulsive shopping disorders when they grow up. Simply
stated, having too much as a child creates the need as an adult to always want
more. It makes sense if you think about it, right? Spoiled child = spoiled
adult.
The study also suggests that excess materialism can
result in low self esteem and those of us that enjoy giving gifts more than
receiving them tend to be less egocentric and have more empathy for others. So
what should we as parents do to ensure that our children have a happy and
wonderful childhood without spoiling them?
First of all we can set a limit to the number of
gifts that we buy for our little ones. Not just during the holidays but at all
times of the year. Meaningful gifts that your child will really enjoy are much
more important than a mountain of goodies that will be discarded shortly after
being opened. The best gifts might be those that enhance creativity and develop
interests such as musical instruments, art supplies and games that allow your
child to be involved with something
and not just staring at it.
I also think that we should teach our children about
the joy of giving, not just receiving. Every community offers many different
ways to volunteer your time or items to help those less fortunate than you. Why
not have your child help you to deliver some canned goods to a local church or organization
that feeds the hungry at this time of year? What about visiting a nursing home
with your young one or a hospital ward for children? There are plenty of ways
to teach your child that giving can be more
rewarding than receiving and that just may be the best gift you can ever give
them.
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